Hi All,
have you ever thought about the above question? This is a question we ask ourself at Quantum Savvy a lot and you may be intrigued what it is all about. Meredith Ransley explains it really well in her article.
Just How Attractive Are You To Your Horse?
When it comes to your relationship to your horse, how would you rate yourself? As attractive or unattractive? While the concept itself may seem an odd one and most likely its one most of us have never considered, from your horse’s point of view it can be crucial to your success … or lack of it.
As horse owners, I’m sure all of us would love to have our horses gleefully greet us each day, to come willingly when we call, to be happy to be with us and to do our bidding when we ask. When it doesn’t all happen this way (and honestly how often does it ever??) we feel disappointed and hurt. But if you look at it from the point of view of your horse, why should they see us and perceive us in this way.
Lots of us think that if we feed our horses and brush them, rug them and take care of their needs, that they should be happy and willing partners. But lets take a closer look at our relationships with our horses and see if we can find the truth.
For our horses to willingly want to be with us and to choose us over their mates or even just over eating grass in the far corner of the paddock, we need to take a close look at our actions and interactions with them on a daily basis … in other words, the things we do with them on a subconscious level, for this truly does give way to our thoughts, feelings and desires.
The first thing to keep in mind is that what is attractive to a human is not necessarily so to a horse. By that I mean, being brushed and fed are all very well but they aren’t high on the list of what makes us attractive to them. While a lovely dinner on the table at 6pm might be a real winner with hubby, that extra carrot or bit of yummy barley or really green bit of Lucerne means very little to your horse. While they hoe into it, they really won’t associate you with being an extra nice person for giving it to them … its just food!
Likewise the extra $50 you spent on the super dooper rug to keep him warm won’t mean the same thing to your horse as running hubby a nice hot bath on a cold night. Most likely your horse will just see it as an inconvenience, as he can’t regulate his own temperature as he’d like to by rolling in mud to create a warm mud rug when he is cold and then rubbing it off next morning when he is too hot.
So what then is attractive to your horse? I like to keep a little scale of 1 – 10 to gauge everything I do with my horse from how I catch him, to how I am around him (my attitude, where my thoughts are, my actions) and how I interact with him on the ground and when riding. For example, if I want to go for a ride, am I always in a hurry because I don’t have much time and how does that come across to my horse. Am I looking very predatory because I’m rushing around? Am I a bit quick with my responses because I want him to hurry up and stand still? Do I take the time to notice how he is feeling and maybe give him a bit of a scratch in a place he actually likes and not just where I think he likes … do I even know what he likes? When he tries for me and does something nicely, even just standing still to have his feet cleaned out, do I put a hand on him even for a moment and give him a little rub and put his feet down politely or do I just expect it to be so and show no appreciation and just drop his feet when I’m done. Making that connection whenever possible goes along way with a horse. One thing I do know from the experience of watching many horse owners, is that if you treat your horse with negligence then they will treat you in the same way … with all the disdain and disregard you deserve. Likewise if you are always afraid of your horse not wanting to be with you so you act timid or over careful, you can come across as insecure and needy which again is not an attractive characteristic.
Now … I’m not saying we have to get all soppy and overly lovey-dovey with our horses. Some of us just aren’t made that way. And by now we know that being a marshmallow around our horses is not seen as desirable or attractive either, however not taking the time to be appreciative of your horses efforts and tries has just the same affect on our equine relationships as it does on our human ones. How long do you think our hubby, wife, kids, friends or work mates would be happy to be around us if we just always expect them to do things for us when we want and how we want, without so much as a please or thank you? If we were demanding, bossy, needy, desperate, unthankful, how many friends do you think we would have? Would people choose to be with us or would they cross the street if they saw us coming? And yet, for many horse owners, this is exactly how we are seen by our horses, all because of the unconscious acts we do with them on a daily basis.
I say unconscious because none of us mean to be this way, however many of us … even the most devout horse lovers among us, subconsciously at least, treat our horses as possessions. Something that we own and therefore should do our bidding. I know right now some of you are horrified at the thought and I know we don’t mean to be this way, but this goes along way to explain the frustration, disappointment and anger that we feel when our horses don’t do as we want. Somewhere deep down we feel we own them so they owe us something … they should do as we wish. If we truly saw them as the individual, independent, free spirits and friends that they are, we’d be a lot more grateful for all the things they do do for us, their willingness and their tolerance of us. Let’s face it, they are far more forgiving and tolerant than many of us are. We can learn a great deal from them in this regard.
Perhaps even some of us actually do treat the other humans in our day this way also? Something to thing about.
I’d like to encourage all of you to take a good look at just how attractive you are to your horse in all things that you do. How often do you show your appreciation to your horse for all that try they offer you, by offering something as simple as release and comfort, getting a hand on them, when ever the chance arises, or by quitting at the right time or knocking off when enough is enough. Or … how often to you expect that little bit more and just take what they give willingly as your just reward.
Take the time to show your appreciation and let your horse know when he or she is right or doing a good job and you’ll find your rapport bank account filling up so fast you’ll have plenty to draw on for years to come.
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Cheers
Filed under: natural horsemanship, Quantum Savvy
